First, take a breath. Then, repeat after me: Your job is not to homeschool. Homeschooling, after all, is a decision that parents make. What is happening right now is not a choice we made.
Many of us were thrown into this situation in an effort of social distancing. Schools were called off, many for “indefinite” periods of time. Teachers scrambled to get some eLearning put together. Parents were left to figure out: how do we teach our kids at home?
Thankfully, there are a ton of resources online for activities at home. But I’ve seen it all over social media: parents putting all this pressure on themselves to make sure learning continues, to make sure normalcy goes on, and to make sure kids don’t ‘fall behind.’
I’m all for establishing some sort of routine, including learning, but we also need to be kind to ourselves. We can only do so much. Juggling our mental health while working AND teaching our kids? That’s freaking hard.
Let’s step back for a second, take another breath, and repeat after homeschooling mom of 3, Janet Virginia McKay, “Give yourself some grace and ease up on your own expectations. It can take homeschooling families one to two years to find their groove!” And let’s repeat this again: you’re not homeschooling.
So what are you doing then?
Surviving. Figuring out a new ‘normal’ at home. Maybe that includes learning activities to supplement what teachers are assigning. If that’s the case, I talked to more than 10 homeschooling parents. They shared words of encouragement. They let us know we’re not alone, and that they’re here to help.
So, without further ado, here are some fabulous tips for learning at home from some homeschooling moms who have kids of all ages:
Prioritize Mental Health over Homeschooling
This is unlike anything we’ve experienced before. Don’t shove mental health to the side in favor of education. In other words, choose well being over worksheets, says Christine Sheets Nutile. At this time, more than ever, reinforcing your relationship and bonding is more important than school work.
Or, as Janel VanDyke reminds us: our kids will not fall behind. “Their psychological needs should be our utmost priority,” Janel said in a recent Facebook video. That goes for us parents too; our mental health matters.
Learning is Different at Home
“I think parents feel pressured to mimic a typical classroom and that’s not needed at all,” Brittany Whitfield, mom of two, says.
Rather than formal instruction, like lectures, Janet McKay recommends focusing on child-lead, play-based activities, as well as life skills. Put another way, Janel VanDyke suggests creating inventive and inspiring lessons based on what your kids are interested in. Speaking of which…
Get Input From Your Kids
Sit down with your kiddos and talk to them about what they want to learn. Every single homeschooling parent I talked to stressed this idea. “A child who is interested in the subject or theme is much more likely to be engaged in learning,” says Joanna Huskey, mom of three.
Christine also suggests that now may be a good time to pursue interests that your kids haven’t had a chance to focus on at school. “Geeky about the solar system?” she says. “Have them watch a documentary about Hubble.” When your kids help choose the topics — or ways of learning and accessing information — it can also make it a whole lot easier for them to learn (and for you to come up with activities that keep them busy and entertained).
Routine? Schedule? Rhythm? That Depends
Some have rigid schedules. Others have lists of daily tasks that must be done before play time. That’s the thing about homeschooling and at-home learning: It looks different for everyone, because different people learn in different ways.
“Don’t expect to get the routine down right away,” Sadie San Filippo warns. “It’s going to take a few good weeks of figuring out what works and what doesn’t for your family.” Evie Moring adds, “So start with what you think is best for your family, and then be prepared to adjust it. It will definitely need to be adjusted.”
If You Choose a Schedule…
Keep in mind, “sit-down” time is typically shorter in a home school setting. The general rule of thumb varies, but according to multiple homeschoolers, the average is 1-2 hours per day for elementary students, 2-3 hours for junior high, and 3-6 for high school. The other hours of the day can be used for play, hands-on activities, field trips, and eating, among other things. (That’s another difference right now; field trips aren’t happening for anybody!)
If you decide to create a schedule, consider blocking the time based on when your kids do best at learning and focusing. For example, in Hannah Pulver’s house: “My kids actually prefer doing their school in the evening after supper. Everyone is winding down, the day is almost over, and they concentrate better, in my opinion. We tried doing it in the morning after breakfast, but that’s usually the busiest part of the day for most people.”
If You Choose Going with the Flow…
Sometimes the daily “schedule” is more about going with the flow. Even that can take different forms, depending on what works for you and your kids. For Tiana Kubik, she believes, “The rhythm should be tight enough for predictability but loose enough to provide large chunks of play/project time.”
For others, like Brittany, who has young kids, it’s even more fluid. “Parents can allow their kids to follow rabbit trails, read out loud a lot, spend time in nature, and enjoy the family time.” As she points out, “Lots of learning happens in the day to day.”
Others use a reward or sticker chart; perhaps make it a rule that chores and lessons are finished first before they get a reward, like video games, for example. For Chelsea Welter, mom of two, “Each chart has a list of things they need to work on, like being nice, being prompt, getting good grades, being clean. Then each day they get marked up or down for those things and their tally at the end of the week determines whether we have a homemade pizza and movie night each week.”
Work Learning Into Your Day
Learning doesn’t just come from a book, or eLearning activities… and hopefully this tip in particular helps you take some pressure off yourself. “Widen your horizons in terms of what can be considered educational,” says Brittany. “A walk outside to get the wiggles out? Nature hike! Look for different sizes and colors of leaves and compare them. Preparing dinner? Perfect opportunity to teach your child about fractions.”
This time at home is also a chance to work on life skills, including cleaning and cooking. Chelsea suggests, “Teach them to load the dishwasher, fold the laundry, bake brownies, make spaghetti, pull weeds, plant flowers, etc.”
Utilize Videos and Others Teaching Your Kids
Thank goodness for the Internet. From authors and actors reading books online, to activity worksheets, there are so many thing we as parents can use for learning at home. Have a kid who loves art? Chelsea has a macrame tutorial here. Want to do science experiments? Go here. Bonus: videos and solo activities give you a break as well.
Antsy Kids? Get Them Moving
If the kiddos are having trouble focusing, “get them moving,” Evie says. This could be as simple as going outside and playing a game of tag, she suggests. Playing outdoors, after all, is a bit of a reset. Alternatively, turn on a YouTube exercise video or GoNoodle and have them get their yayas out before going back to workbooks.
Encourage Self-Directed Learning
A lot of parents thrown into the world of at-home learning think they need to be there by their kid’s side. Not true says a lot of homeschooling parents! This goes back to encouraging your kid’s passions and interests. Sit down, brainstorm some projects, offer up some resources, and then let them do their own investigation. Once they’re done, they can present what they learned to you.
Boredom is A-Okay
Sure boredom can lead to the kids whining, but it can also lead to creativity. If you need some space and time — I know I still need that — tell your kid’s it’s quiet time, or independent learning time. Everyone takes a break from one another and does their own thing. And in that silence, in that ‘boredom,’ they may start getting creative.
You’re Not Homeschooling
Things are crazy right now. Staying at home allll the time? It’s hard. And the homeschooling parents can agree: what’s happening right now is not homeschooling. It’s something so very different, and as Tiana says, “at the end of the day you find what works for your family.”
I hope that these tips from homeschooling parents can help you through the day with your at-home learning, whatever form that might take. And if you’ve got questions? Ask them below. There’s a whole community of parents who are willing to help.
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