Working at Home with Kids: 3 Reasons I Don’t Clean During Naptime

By the end of the day, it appears like a toy bomb has gone off. Toy cars are stashed under chairs. Stickers somehow end up on the trash can and fridge, and why are they on the floor? Baskets lay empty, because… well, kids. But despite this mess? I don’t clean up during nap time.

Nap time (and now quiet time for my oldest, currently 4) is sacred to me. And not just because, as a work-at-home mom (WAHM), it’s often when I get the most work done (other than after they go to bed). I protect nap time (and quiet time) fiercely… both to make sure my kids get their rest, but for my sanity (and productivity) too.

But even though I work from home, I’m also a stay-at-home mom too. And as such, I get asked a lot: when do I clean? And do the laundry? And a lot of the other household work?

My answer: when the kids are awake… and I encourage them to help me. Sure the chores take a whole lot longer, and often a lot is left undone, but I’ve been working on being okay with that.

So how do I spend naptime (and quiet time)? These three ways:

Reason 1: Naptime is Worktime

I went down to part-time work at The International Kitchen when I had my oldest in 2014. It’s when I first dipped my toes into the WAHM world. That same year I started my Younique business, and my most productive uninterrupted work time was always during nap. That became even more true in 2017 when I moved to working from home 100% after having my son.

Reason 2: It’s also ‘Me time’ too

Since having kids I’ve struggled with self care (which is one reason I focus a lot of it on this blog – I know I’m not the only one!) But I’ve come to realize just how necessary it is; I’m a better mom when I take care of me too. And for me, part of self care is about my health; I need to put my feet up every day… literally. I have varicose veins and leaky valves, which requires that I put my legs up so they don’t hurt as much.

Reason 3: I’m teaching my kids there is no Naptime Cleaning Fairy

So if I’m not cleaning during nap, when am I?

I fit chores into the day and encourage my kids to help. We don’t have a cleaning reward system. No sticker charts. And while I have started giving my oldest some “chore money” it’s only for things that go above and beyond the norm… like dusting. By not having a “naptime cleaning fairy” around, they’re regularly seeing me pick up the house and clean dishes.

In turn, they’re participating more in the household chores. As toddlers, they do things like hand me utensils from the dishwasher and pour in the laundry detergent. Now that my oldest is a preschooler, she helps more and more, by sorting laundry, putting her books away, and when I do ask for help, it’s more of a reminder, like, “hey it’s almost bedtime, let’s pick up the floor!”

There’s science and research behind this “method” of encouraging kids to be helpful around the house. NPR published a piece just this past Summer about this very topic, and as soon and my husband and I read it, we thought: hey, we’re doing something right with our parenting.

Yet, having toddlers help with the chores isn’t much of a Western thing, as the NPR article highlights. We live in such a fast-paced society, we just want to get the chores done, and we want the mess picked up (the first time) that we often “shoo” away our children while we get chores done… or we do them during naptime or while they’re asleep.

But I’ve noticed: the more they see me take out the broom, the more likely they’ll be right there to “sweep” too. In fact, my two-year-old is quite a pro at throwing things out now.

What Happens When The Kids Don’t Want to Help Clean

Do they always want to pick up or help clean?

Heck no! Literally, as I wrote this blog post Little Miss carried down four dolls to play with and spread them out on the living room floor. But life is messy. My place isn’t always clean. And I’m okay with that, for the most part… plus, I know it won’t be like that forever.

But I’ve also noticed that the more I say:

“Mama needs to get this laundry put away before I can play.”

Or, “I need to clean this up before I can read that book”

Or, “I need to put this food away before I get you another snack.” (you get the idea). When they (or at least my 4-year-old) realizes that helping me means I’ll play with them sooner, they’re also more likely to offer to help.

I also have non-negotiable toy pickup times… like they won’t get a book or TV show before bed if they don’t help pick up their rooms.

All that said, I’m currently looking at my dining room table while I work, and it’s covered in art projects and a few leftover bites of food. My method is far from perfect, and I’m sure I could make it cleaner if I picked up during naptime and quiet time.

But I love my work-at-home life, and if it means a bit of a mess around? And means that I pretty much only clean up when they’re awake? But it also means that they’re helping me more and more with household chores? Then I’m okay with all that.

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