My young children are still learning how to use their words to express how they feel. Often times they’ll simply react with a hit or a push when they get angry, rather than explaining to the other why they’re upset. When that happens, I have a phrase I often repeat: “If we don’t talk about it, nothing will change.”
I’ve been thinking about that statement lately as National Sexual Assault Awareness Month comes to a close. That statement is appropriate for a lot in life. There are a lot of hard topics that we need to discuss. They’re not always easy to talk about it, because they may make us uncomfortable… but if we don’t talk about them, nothing will ever change.
One such hard topic: 1 in 5 children will be sexually assaulted by age 18.
That statistic churns my stomach. I don’t even want to think about it… but if we don’t talk about it, that stat will not change.
A Resource to Start the Conversation: Defend Innocence
One of the goals of the organization Defend Innocence is to help parents and caregivers start the conversation about the difficult subject of childhood sexual abuse.
Their thinking is that if we find ways to talk to our kids about it in age-appropriate ways, we will hopefully be able to break the cycle and stop the abuse before it happens when possible. Take a peek at their site here and see the resources they have to offer.
For me, as a parent, I’ve learned a lot about teaching toddlers and preschoolers about consent, about teaching my kids the appropriate names for body parts, and letting my kids know that if they don’t want to hug someone, then that’s ok. Their body, their choice… and that’s the first step in teaching kids about body autonomy and consent.
We’ve also made it a rule in our house: “If someone says ‘stop’ or ‘no,’ you listen.” That means if we’re tickling our kids and they say “stop,” we will immediately stop. It teaches them that their words matter. That it is their body, their choice.
Words matter, our voices matter, the way we talk – and respond – to our kids matter.
It’s not easy to talk about, but we need to. The statistic of 1 in 5 needs to change.
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